Employment Office
Submitted by Paula Moore Hurtt and Thomas E. (Jene) Hedden, B.C.D., M.S.W., L.C.S.W.
SHELBY COUNSELING ASSOCIATES
Lost your job? Don’t lose your head.
The recent economic downturn has resulted in job losses across the country. For many, if not most of these newly unemployed workers, the experienced is disorienting and frightening. Men, who tend to identify themselves through their careers, can be particularly hard hit emotionally. So, how can you stay positive and productive through this difficult time?
Deal with the initial emotions.
Job loss can cause feelings of anger, helplessness, hopelessness, disorientation, shame, guilt, fear…the list goes on. Take no more than a day or two to deal with these emotions. Talk to your spouse, a close friend or pastor about how you’re feeling. Write your feelings and thoughts down. Also write down your strengths and weaknesses. Writing them down will focus your mind on the task ahead. Accept what you’re feeling and realize that your feelings of fear and helplessness are temporary.
Get busy.
Keep your normal working hours. Set your alarm and get up at your normal time. Get up, get showered and dressed and be at your home office at your normal start time ready for a day of job hunting. Spend your work day updating and copying your resume, calling about jobs. If you finish that day’s job hunting tasks before the end of your normal work day, find something else to do around the house.
Stay off the couch. Lying around will make you feel slothful and weak. You need to feel like you’re contributing to your family’s well-being even if you are not bringing home a pay check. So stay busy.
Communicate
If your spouse is working, he or she may feel extra pressure now. It’s important to give your spouse the chance to express his or her feelings and reassure him or her that you are working hard to find another job. Do what you can to make his or her job easier by taking up the slack at home.
Your children may also be upset by the circumstances. Younger children will be confused by the change in routine. Older children may be fearful that the family will run out of money or worried about your mental state. Talk to your children. Let them know that things will be different for awhile, but they are safe and you are OK.
Also, be honest with your friends and family. Don’t try to hide your unemployment. It is nothing for which you should be ashamed. In addition, many jobs are found through friends and family. So, explore those resources.
Evaluate your strengths and weaknesses.
Take a good look at your skill sets and your areas of comfort. You may have always been in the same line of work and looking for something different may be a little scary. But, an honest appraisal of your career may indicate that your skill sets are no longer in great demand. Give serious thought about what else you’re good at doing.
Do you need to take a class, sharpen your skills or go in a completely new direction?
Don’t let pride get in your way of working part-time or doing odd jobs until you’ve found another full-time job. Stocking shelves at your local grocery at night is an honorable job if it’s helping to feed your family. A solid work ethic is the single most valuable asset you can bring to any new job. Working part-time while you job-hunt will keep that work ethic honed.
Be generous.
This may seem like a strange time to think about giving, but the fact is, millions of people are worse off than you. Every major religion stresses that there is enrichment in giving. Helping others makes us feel better about our own circumstances. When you’re not working at your job of job hunting, look for local needs to meet. Help an elderly neighbor get to the doctor, mow a shut-in’s lawn or volunteer at a local shelter. If you regularly tithe at your church, continue to do so. Trust us, there is a universal law that says that those who give will be blessed.
Loss of a job is one of the top stressors in our lives. But, if you keep your head, have a plan and stay busy and productive while looking for a new job, you’ll realize it’s not the end of the world.
Share your experiences about losing your job in the comment box below.
October 3rd, 2009 at 10:21 am
Bleak unemployment numbers yesterday… 9.8% Inching closer to the gut-wrenching 10%. Obama’s numbers willr really be in free-fall once this double didgit number is reached
August 31st, 2009 at 10:40 am
I agree with Topper… Ted is dead, and hopefully this government takeover of healthcare.
Had Kennedy had the government run healthcare now being proposed, he wouldn’t have lived the nearly year and one-half since being diagnosed with a brain tumor. He would have been denied treatments such as the surgery he underwent, radiation and chemo, as he was 77 years old and had inoperable cancer. He would heve been told to “take some pills” to relieve the pain and would heve been dead in two months.
Think about that.
August 21st, 2009 at 2:20 pm
I don’t know if I’ll ever retire…I want to, though. I guess I’ll be pulling myself around in my wheelchair (you’ve seen people do that, haven’t you?) in my preschool classroom doing fingerplays and singing “5 little Monkeys Jumping on the Bed”.
August 6th, 2009 at 4:26 pm
Regarding your article, I think for a lot of us boomers…particularly older boomers…the concern is that our kids will lose their jobs and “boomerang back home again.” It’s happening a lot. Our two have boomeranged ad least one time a piece. They’re out on their own again now, but we realize that that could change in a heartbeat. We’re fortunate that we have good kids with no major problems like drug abuse. And they don’t have kids. But, it’s still hard to have an adult child living in the house, particularly if they’ve been gone awhile.
June 22nd, 2009 at 5:03 pm
I like being retired because I’m a big believer in afternoon naps!
June 15th, 2009 at 7:11 pm
Hi.
Your Hobby and Leisure tab is linking to your employment office.